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Missing….

….my children.  I allowed them to go to their father in Texas for 4 weeks.  They’ve been gone for 2 weeks and 2 days….not that I’m counting or anything.  They were totally excited.  Along with him not paying child support for the better part of the last year, he had also not seen them at all, and probably only called them a total of 5 times.  I was not excited to let them go.  But to be the bigger person, and for the children’s sake, definitely not their father’s, I let them go.

They seem to be having a blast.  They have a new baby brother (the reason for 3 of their father’s calls to them in the last year, and they came in the last 2 months).  I have all sorts of mixed feelings on this one.  Their father and I didn’t want more than 2 children.  We felt it was unfair to the two of them, while we were married of course, to bring more children to a world where it’s hard to give enough attention to them, let alone financial support.  For a long time, I worked overtime and 2-3 jobs to help support us, and their father did his part too.  Well, when we divorced, my financial situation didn’t get any better, and his ended up getting worse.  He quit a job he had for years, joined the Army, but then quit that.  Needless to say, after getting out of the Army (must’ve literally been days) and not having a job at all, he and wife #2 decided to get pregnant.  Now, sure, could’ve been an accident…..yah, right…..35 and 36 year olds that have their own children should really know how that happens and how to avoid it….especially when you can’t provide for your existing ones.  Therein lie my ill feelings.  And yet, my children are enamored, as they should be.   Ugh.

I digress.  I miss my children.  My son seems to reciprocate this.  He makes sure he calls everyday.  My daughter, on the other hand, seems she could not care less that she’s not around me.  I try to talk to her and get nothing….tell her I miss her and love her and hear crickets chirping.  She’s never been the most talkative, but she was always pretty lovey.  The last year or so she’s gotten away from that.  She’s 11, maybe just a phase she’s going through.  You just always expect more affection from your girl than your boy…well, I do at least.  Makes me just a bit sad.

What’s going to hurt worse is that when she gets back from being with her father, she’ll be a wreck.  She always cries for days after he’s gone.  This is the part I HATE about us being divorced.  The hurt it put on the kids.

So for the next week and 3 or 4 days, I will continue to miss them, continue to call and remind them of this, and hope that by that time they will both miss me and want to come back home.  I dread that they might not want to.  And if they don’t, I don’t quite know how to handle that.

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My son, Kevin, the goofball that he is!

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And my gorgeous girl, Kendalyn!

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About mrswonderful26

I am a mom of 2 children, step-mom to 2 more. I am a student in college as well as working a full time job. I have a wonderful husband who does most of the providing for us all and I love him immensely!

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