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4 years

4 years can mean some major accomplishments in life:

As a kid, being able to start preschool.

Graduating from high school.

Graduating from college (on a “normal” schedule…for me it’s taken 15 years and counting….2 semesters left!!!..a topic for another time.)

The amount an olympian has to train to compete again for the gold.

A birthday for leap year babies! 😉

A presidential term.

4 years…that’s how long I’ve been married this second time around…..4 years today! It’s amazing how different a marriage can be when you have mutual love and respect. We go through our share of ups and downs, mind you, but this marriage is so different from my first. We actually argue quite a bit.

In my first marriage, I prided myself on the fact we were so compatible we never argued…and I mean never. This actually led to me being totally naive and not seeing things that were right under my nose. When I found these hidden lies he was keeping from me, well then we fought. But I would forgive, like the dutiful wife. And I would try to forget, but then he would lie again, and again, and again, till I couldn’t stand the lies anymore and I started lying myself. And then I left. I’m no longer proud of that marriage.

But I am proud of this marriage. The last 4 years have taught me a lot. I’ve had to learn to trust again. I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to disagree. That I am not always right (SHOCKER!!!!) That we can disagree and still love each other. That you can have a marriage without having to live with lies. That my former idea of a perfect marriage was a sham.

I believe I do have a perfect marriage now. Perfectly full of ups and downs…and life.

Perfect for me and my Mr. Wonderful.

Cole Ryan

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